Round two was not as good as round 1.  On the first day, we started the dose between the second and third day last time I went under (about 3 cc's) and they pushed the ketamine quit aggressively.  In my hallucination I started to feel nauseous and and almost threw up.  They doctor came in and gave me some medicine to help with the nausea, which helped, but it sure made waking up hard.  I don't remember any of the hallucinations during this round.

Day two was a little better.  I went to 3.5 cc's.  As I went under, I had a bad feeling that what I was going to see was not going to be as interesting as last time.  This time, it was dark, very dark.  I remember trying to run from this darkness that was everywhere. It boiled and seethed and was restless.  It was thick like oil, but as fluid as a billowing fog.  It was trying to overtake me.  I could not get my bearings, up was down, down was up.  The only think I could possibly compare it to would be outer darkness.  It was horrible.  I forced my eyes open to try to get some grip on sanity and when I closed them again, I saw a light I started to run to.  As I ran, the blackness chased me, surrounded me and tried to swallow me. Just as I got to the light, it shrank back enough for me to escape.  I don't know how long I was there, but it seemed like forever.  If this is anything like outer darkness, I feel deep sorrow for those who go there.  I came out okay, but at the car I threw up and had a massive headache.  I sleep little that night.

Day three they bumped me up to 4 cc's.  This was the highest dose I have had.  I was extremely scared to go under after yesterday.  My blood pressure was up and I was fighting the anxiety.  I went under fearing the worst.  This time, I could not remember anything.  I did force my eyes open for a while and talked to Dana, but it was more confusing to see Dana and hallucinations at the same time. At one point I asked her if I was a machine, and I asked her if she could see the ribbons of gold and silver dancing around.  I made it through and was able to recover from this round better. Dana told me to go down and fix my knee, but I told her I had already pushed the pain down my leg and out my foot.  I remember pushing from my head to my toes and watching the pain shoot from my left leg in a blinding ribbon of light.  I kicked my left foot to get free of it, and it shot across the room and through the wall and was gone.

So far, the swelling is down and the pain is gone.  The affect of day two still haunts me and I am having problems sleeping.  I don't ever want to see that again!

Our doctor told us this was his last week at the clinic and he was going back to practice at the hospital. This is good since we found a new doctor.  I was given a blessing a couple of weeks before and one of the blessings was to find a good doctor.  We did.  The new doctor has access to U of U pain clinic and has already suggested some other routes to battle the CRPS.  For now, I am physically okay, but I am still shaken by what I saw on day two.  I hope with time it fades away.