Wow it sure has been a tough couple of weeks. As you may or may not know, I have been having seizures (5 now) so my pain doctor and my Primary Care Physician both thought is would be necessary to get me into a Neurologist. Well, Utah has a shortage right now of Neurologists and the best I could hope for was an appointment at the U of U in four to six months. So, we did what we could and the family started to pray for an opening. We managed to find an opening with a Neurologist that specializes in epilepsy and pain managment August 20th. So we went to the appointment and we showed the Doctor the video of my last seizure and the after math. He was very impressed and was able to see what happened during and after. The other seizures happened around 2:00pm or so. I would start to shake in my left hand, then it would proceed quickly to just my left side. I would shake in my left arm, leg and jerk my head to the left. The first seizure lasted 2.5 hours before it stopped. The others we could get to stop quicker (around 30-45 minutes) with medicine. The last seizure though was different and very, very scary. I had a dream I was working on a deck for Grandpa and Grandma Wright's house. It was still blue so it was a while ago in the dream, and the deck was rickety. In my dream, I fell off the deck and landed on my left side smacking my head hard on the ground. The pain was excruciating, like a nail driven into my left temple. In my dream I started to shake and sometime during the dream seizure, my body started to seize. I became aware of my situation and when I realized I wasn't dreaming, I found myself in a hard seizure. No one was in the room since everyone thought I was sleeping. So there I was seizing on the bed hard, unable to call for help, so I cried to the Lord for some help. Just then Gillian (DeeDee) came into the room. Dana had told her to leave me alone, but she came in anyway and saw me. She came close with a look of fear in her eyes and asked "Daddy, are you going to throw up?" To which I croaked, "Yes, get mom". Do DeeDee ran out and told Dana I was throwing up. She came into the room and saw me in a violent, hard seizure. She got the medicine in me to calm me down, then grabbed the cameral to film me. After I had a painful headache similiar to a cluster migrain, which slowly calmed down to the dull, headache I had since my seizures started. Poor Gillian, she was so traumatized by the seizure she saw, now if I am sleeping, she will come in and check on my ever 10 to 20 minutes just to see if I am okay. Also, when she comes to sit on my lap she always asks if the "monster" is asleep in my knee so she can sit on my lap. A three year old shouldn't have to ask Dad about his "monsters" to sit on his lap. She is tough, and I think as we figure out what the seizures are from, they might go away and she can stop worrying. Grace has started to sleep walk more. She will come into my room and to my side of the bed and start talking to me. When I ask her what is going on she repeats the gibberish and just stands there. I will get up and give her a big hug, tell her I am okay and she goes back to bed. She doesn't remember any of it and it is increasing. I sure hope she finds peace to sleep through the night. So, we showed the Neurologist who said I was having a non-epileptic seizure brought on by pain, anxiety, and depression. He said the my brain was storing up all the pain and anxiety and it would finally release it as these seizures. He ordered and MRI and an EEG to see what was going on in my Noggin. So on August 20th I was squeezed into an MRI machine for 45 minutes while they took pictures of my brain. My head was wrapped in a cage and I had to pull my shoulders into fit into the tube. I closed my eyes during most of the procedures. I had on headphones to block out the noise and a squeeze bulb in case I panicked. So stuffed into a tube barely large enough to fit me, head in a cage, packed in tightly, the MRI began. One time I opened my eyes and the top of the MRI was about 4 inches from my face. I don't think I was clostrophobic, but it sure was nerve racking. That night Dana was rubbing the pain cream on my leg and she noticed "bumps" behind my knee. So Tuesday, we went to the pain doctor to see what was going on. Also, I told him about my headache and he proposed a procedure where they shove q-tips up my nose to behind my eyes numbing the way up, then having me sniff medicine. He said it was hit or miss and I said lets do it since the headache was getting worse. So we scheduled for Thursday and left. Wednesday I battled my insurance for my pain medication. They were needing prior authorization and in the meantime my pain pills were out. So the Doctor prescribed me another kind to hold me over so I had to run from Clinton Wal-Mart to South Ogden, back and forth to get some pain relief until they figured it out. Thursday, I had my procedure. It was, well, I would say uncomfortable. It didn't really hurt, but having something shoved that far up your nose is not comfortable. The procedure worked and the headache dimished quite a bit. The doctor then prescribed me a pain med that was on the list of meds to try before I get my pain med. But as we tried to fill it, it was denied needing a prior authorization. I guess they want me to try aspirin or something. Friday I went to Physical Therapy where I did mirror therapy. By this time, my knee was at a 5-6 constant pain and flaring to 8 at times. In this therapy, I strattled a mirror and looked into the reflection of my right leg in the mirror. To my brain it was my "left" knee. So as I massaged my right knee, in the mirror my "left knee" was massaged and my brain thought the pain in my knee was gone. It was really cool. However after three to four massages my brain figured it out and the pain came flooding back. I still do this procedure today. Sunday (August 26th) I had to stay up all night to do the EEG on Monday morning. So the plan was to keep me company in shifts. Dana lasted till 11:00 till she fell asleep on the couch. Oh well, I turned on my Xbox and played Darksiders II until about 5:30 in the morning. Then I switched to news and at six fell asleep for 5 minutes when Dana woke me. Then in for the EEG where they glue electrodes to my head and test my noggin. It started off with a relaxation to get a baseline, then I had to hyperventalate for three minutes. During this time, my brain switched from dream/tired mode into Ketamine mode where everything turned electric blue and I starte to hallucinate. I was then told to sleep for a while, which I just hallucinated, then they flashed lights in my eyes, took off the electrodes and clips and sent me home to sleep. My head looked like I had an angry animal on it with it splayed out everywhere (I got a picture, I might post it). Tuesday I had the nerve block. A small catheter was inserted into the back of my left thigh next to htte siatic nerve, and I got an injection on the top, inner part of my thigh to numb that nerve. I was hooked up to a pump and for three days sat around with a numb leg. Thursday I started to get Gout again, so I started my medicine to stop it. Thank goodness my leg was numb so I didn't feel it. By the time the took out the cathater on Friday I had 12 hours more of numbness so the Gout was on the downside. So far the block has helped quite a bit. So where am I? Well, the pain is down (which is good), but I am suffering from the side effects of 15 different medicines. I lose my train of thought more and more, and my concentration is suffering. I have a ringing in my right ear, and now my body will jerk or shake at times. One day at a time, one issue at a time I guess. The Neurologist will review the EEG and MRI and we find out on 9/13 what he sees and if there will be more pills or treatment. I see the pain doctor next week as well and we will go from there. So I am not out of the woods by any means. I still cannot sleep well, I am being treated for PTSD from my Psychologist, and I still suffer from side effects of all the meds I am taking. I am moving a little forward, but still have a long, long way to go until I am "fixed". Thanks for the prayers, and if you lasted this long, I just want to say, that emails, phone calls, texts, anything sure helps us out. It feels like we are a wreck on the highway that people pass and look. So any words of encouragement to the family, Dana, or myself is good to hear. Let us know you are out there. John